Friday, August 19, 2005

1984 Jacko Attacko

Supreme Court Nominee Not a Fan of the "Androgynous Mono-Gloved" Jackson

In a surprise twist, ultra conservative Supreme Court nominee John Roberts has had his suspicions about Michael Jackson for over 20 years. OK, while being suspicious of Michael Jackson isn't really a surprise for anyone, what IS surprising is the sense of humor the rabid tongued Roberts possesses. He is well suited and worthy to blog as his poison pen pretty much marked Jackson a freak in a rather amusing way.

Said Roberts of JAckson: "If one wants the youth of America and the world sashaying around in garish sequined costumes, hair dripping with pomade, body shot full of female hormones to prevent voice change, mono-gloved, well, then, I suppose 'Michael,' as he is affectionately known in the trade, is in fact a good example. Quite apart from the problem of appearing to endorse Jackson's androgynous life style, a Presidential award would be perceived as a shallow effort by the President to share in the constant publicity surrounding Jackson. . . . The whole episode would, in my view, be demeaning to the President."

Ever the showman, Reagan apparently disregarded the warning and had a summit with the man of 1,000 noses and skin tones. No word on whether Ronnie or Nancy spent any nights at Neverland.

"Roberts particularly objected to award wording that described Jackson as an 'outstanding example' for American youth." Wait, you're telling me he was even aware that Michael shouldn't be left alone with kids? Very ahead of his time is Roberts, very perceptive. Maybe I shouldn't hold the fact Bush brought him in make me dislike him. Well, then of course is his unfunny feelings on Homemakers that kinda shows his unapologetic misogyny, reducing his forethought on Jackson to the equivalent of caveman accidentally discovering fire.

Well, to look on the bright side, with Clarence "Pubic Hair on my Coke" "Long Dong Silver" Thomas and John "Archie Bunker" Roberts on the same court, things may get very entertaining.

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